Done Deviled

My husband asks if there’s anything he can get me at the store. I shrug and say some sort of protein I haven’t eaten a dozen times this week. I’ve had food apathy for a while now.

I have never had Deviled ham or Deviled chicken before. There’s a red-and-white paper wrapper on each. Hmm, the chicken would probably be an easy start since chicken is rather innocuous as a flavor. Off comes the wrapper.

Uh. Here’s where I get stuck.

The can is about the same size as the Fancy Feast canned cat food we give our elder cat. It has a nice pull-tab, just like Fancy Feast. I think to myself, Perhaps the cans are made by the same company. Okay, that thought might be a mistake. I hurry to pull the tab and throw it away before I chicken out. That will make it seem less similar.

Nuh-uh. What I see when I return to the kitchen counter is a Fancy Feast can without its pull-tab top—and inside what appears to me as Fancy Feast’s pâté, our elder cat’s preferred texture. Be brave. Exciting things can come in small packages. It smells like cat food pâté. Ah, it’s just chicken.

I turn away from the can and slowly spread mayo and mustard on a single piece of bread. I’m too chicken to put the can in sight. I lower the bread over the unseen can and swipe a knife full on the mayo-mustard base and quickly fold the bread in half. I eat it, probably a little too fast for the first two bites.

Not bad. But the can goes straight into the refrigerator without stopping for a cover. Oh my. Perhaps one of those cat-food-can covers from the pet store would be handy about now.
©2012 Sandra Davidson

One response to “Done Deviled

  1. LOL!!! I have been turned off by food for years now and it continues to this very day. I survive on three protein shakes a day and a big breakfast.

    I’ve seen that deviled ham and chicken in the store and have never been brave enough to buy some and try it. I am truly a very picky eater and I do mean picky. The mashed up meat is not something I could put in my mouth, even if I was hanging out with Rastas all day enjoy some of their finest.

    Nice thoughts and I’m glad in this country where food is king I have a soul that is much like myself.

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